Recently a few friends of mine have been preparing for events. One is going to a big exciting convention, one is going to a concert and a few more have weddings. They all asked “what do I wear?” Yes, they had clothes in the closet. Yes, they know the acceptable attire for the event… but that’s it.
The options are endless after that. It can feel overwhelming. If you are introverted like me you can even start to get anxiety over it. I have a way of fixing that overwhelm and insuring you feel just right in any situation.
First of all let’s get down to the feels.
Do you want to go to this event? Is it something you are looking forward to? Fantastic! The next question to ask yourself is, what do I want to say?
What I mean by that is, what do you want to say, or exude with your style?
Do you want to welcome conversation, meet new people and be the life of the party? Then you need to find something that matches your mood and personality.
What makes you feel joyful or celebratory? Than wear that! If it’s not in your closet already go find it because that’s what will make you enjoy the event rather than you constantly worrying about whether you look okay or not.
No matter the situation if you don’t know what to wear, ask yourself “ what do I want to say?”
We all want to be heard and valued. Humans are amazing, we can express ourselves through words, paint, music, anything really and especially fashion. So be bold and be honest.
What do you want to say? I know it seems pretty over the top philosophical on the topic of just getting dressed but that’s the truth behind why we wear what we wear.
Too often we are worried about how we look rather than what is going on in the room, what we can offer and enjoying the moment. I know it’s been true for me. I’ve been to events where my mind was preoccupied more with my dress, or how I looked, than with the people I was talking to or whatever else was going on. I was never satisfied with how I looked but it even robbed me of the joy of the moment. All because I was either insecure or unsure.
When I realized it came down to “what do I want to say” I started dressing for myself and that was beautiful.
I still respect the event and the people there by dressing appropriately for whatever event it may be. If it’s a BBQ I wear something comfortable; if it’s cocktail attire I wear a dress that makes me feel good and sexy and flatters my figure.
I don’t wear something that I “think” everyone else will like but I feel lumpy or fat in. I know I won’t enjoy the event and at the end of the day nobody cares that much.
We’ve covered the one question that gets to the heart of things, now what about the worst case scenario?
I’ve had some pretty amazing worst case scenarios happen and I lived through them all. I don’t live under a bridge and I was never chased by pitchforks because of my fashion disaster.
My Favorite Disaster Story
One hot summer day I was running errands. Fun errands! I was going to go shopping for a friends birthday present, get my hair done and go out to dinner after. I was SO excited for this day because they are rare and delicious to me!
I was feeling so good about myself and wanted to look the part, so I wore one of my favorite summer dresses. It’s strapless, but I still wore a bra because I have to. I wore a cute little breezy light cardigan over it to cover the straps because I’m old fashioned and don’t like showing my bra straps.
I felt good. It was a comfortable dress and the day was calling! I got to my first stop to find my friends birthday gift. I hopped out of the car and walked in. I spotted the jewelry area and headed on over to see if they had anything she would like.
As I was looking I noticed the lady behind the counter turned away from me. I made eye contact like I had a question and she walked away. “Dang lady, how rude are you!?!” I thought.
At that moment I noticed a rather tall gentleman next to me who I thought was looking at the jewelry, but realized he was looking at me and my chest. “Hey buddy, I’m not selling any jewelry in there” I thought.
I started to glance down at my dress to see if I was showing a bunch of cleavage or something and that’s when I saw what everyone else saw WAY before me…..
My dress had scooted all the way down to my waist!!!!
Oh. My. God!!!! How long had my dress been down there!!?!?!
I ran behind the nearest clothing rack and hiked up my dress! Holy crap, that dude saw everything! EVERYONE saw everything! My raggedy bra, my lumpy stomach, most of my girls…. All of it!
I was mortified.
I adjusted myself and left the store. I sat in the car and for a second I felt really bad… but then I laughed. It was hilarious! “You’re welcome for the show folks!” I thought. I went back in after making damn sure my dress wouldn’t betray me again.
Did I plan that? Hell, NO! Was it the worst case scenario in my mind. Uh huh! And I lived.
I wasn’t banned from the store for blinding everyone with my whiter than white skin and stretch marks. I’m a ginger people, I can’t tan. In the end, I was able to find the sweetest gift for a dear friend.
I also got an amazing story for free, no charge except minus some pride points. All is well that ends well.
Did I worry about their judgment? For a second I did.
In all honesty though it only lasted a short time and then I went back out and enjoyed life. And that’s my point. You can and will have mishaps. It’s not the end of the world. So what if someone laughs or thinks something negative about you.
They have issues NOT you. Because if they were honest they would realize their insecurity about themselves is what is driving that. We’re all human folks, let’s be kind ones.
Don’t live life worried about what to wear to the next thing. Just wear what makes you feel beautiful and enables you to enjoy the moment. Be there for others but don’t worry about their judgment, and for heaven sake have good time!!!